Something liberating happened just when I made a small shift in my thinking
IT IS NEVER ABOUT THE OTHER PERSON, IT IS ALWAYS ABOUT ME.
We are generally conditioned to blame someone or the circumstances for our unfortunate situations of life. The moment you say that someone else is responsible for your suffering,you give them the charge of your situation. Now, think of taking personal responsibility, isn’t it an empowering choice that could create a different outcome?
By taking the responsibility we change the way we look at the situation. I am sharing the questions that I ask myself to reclaim my personal power
- How did I create this situation? How did I encourage it? How did I allow it?
- What thoughts/beliefs got me here?
- What did I say or not say that led me to this outcome?
- What did I do or not do to create this result?
- What do I need to do differently next time to get the result I want?
By asking yourself the right questions, you give yourself permission to move past the emotions you may be feeling (anger, powerlessness, guilt, resentment, frustration, etc)
This isn’t to say that other people are completely off the hook and can behave any way they choose toward us without consequence. It simply draws a line in the sand that says, “you’re responsible for you, and I’m responsible for me .
This doesn’t mean we will never be hurt by the actions of others. And it doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t communicate our hurts with the ones we love, when it is called for.
It simply changes how we respond rather than react to the pain, turning it into an experience where we seek to understand, rather than seek to be right.